One of my biggest personal pet peeves in life is people who fail to have a rational conversation involving debate. I think most people can relate to when you’re in a conversation with somebody who doesn’t agree with your opinion, so they think talking over you makes them feel they’re winning. It’s the worst. This is one of the many issues people have when it comes to debating on topics, whether it’s on something simple or controversial world problems.
Another big problem is ego-driven debates. A lot of people want to get into debates simply to be proven right and make themselves feel smart and powerful. In reality, the goal for debates in conversations is to learn something new, and if you already have a thought about that topic, it’s to be proven wrong. In my opinion, the goal of a debate is less about putting your point out and more of listening to a different point of view.
A common thread I see in debates especially with kids in high school is not having the detachment of reality from feelings. That’s not disregarding the fact that emotions have an important place in logic such as morality and values, but there’s a lot of topics that don’t need as much personal insight as they should. These certain topics that don’t need personal insight always have statistics to prove them wrong. This then turns into people fighting the facts, and usually for two reasons: it hurts their feelings, or it proves that what they believe doesn’t belong in reality, and people don’t want their ideas to be disproven. Or it’s both, if they were to accept it that means they would have to admit they’re wrong.
“I think a lot of people get into debates for the wrong reasons, no matter the topic, it’s usually just about wanting to win even if it makes them look silly,” Carter Kinley said.
I think a solution to this problem would be to have an open mind. It sounds cliché, but being open to new perspectives is extremely important and beneficial, not even just in debates, but in life in general. Accepting new ideas is a big way of expanding how we think. We either learn by experience, or we listen to others who have that experience. Less ego, more about learning as much as you can and less defensiveness of your opinions. It’s a good trait to believe strongly, but to be willingly ignorant to new ideas is putting yourself at a disadvantage